Sliding through time

(pictured L: Our niece, Ashley with John Andrew, Tiana and Kalina; R: breakfast the day Tiana was born)

It hit me like a ton of VHS Tapes tonight and I suppose it will contine to hit me over and over again. The reality that our kids are, in fact, older than they used to be. Now, I know this seems painfully (stupidly even) obvious, but what hit me is that as they age, they shed little bits of their personalities like skin, only to grow new, more refined personas. Since I feel exactly the same as I have since I was twelve, it is new to me that they do not just get to be taller versions of themselves.

Yesterday, I watched a video that I clearly remember recording of our now five year old girl, taken when she was three years old. I remember that day exactly. As I suspected, I have changed very little. But, Kalina. Oh, my. Today I see the fragments of that video in her eyes, but her newfound knowledge about so many things just swallows them up. I know my babies so well, that as I see them each morning they look so familiar sitting on our couch clearing last night's dreams out of their heads. But each morning they are just a little bit wiser, funnier more evolved.

And, then I get this sinking feeling...our oldest is only seven! Tiana isn't even fully potty trained. Seven years into this parenting business, and I am more sentimental than an old Kleenex commercial! Good Lord, what will I do when they start driving, start dating...start lives of their own? I am left puzzling over whether it would be better to be aware of the crazy journey all along, or to take it in, in one big breath when they are each on their own roads.